My fight

the hell

being2hurts — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:18:50 +0000

well you know Tracy, this can ne confusing sometimes. You can still plan things to improve the appartment, then, less than 5 minutes after, you just destroy it by telling the most awful things. Hey, what the hell is going on in your fuckin’ head when you tell me words such as “I’d rather like you had someone, at least my outcome would not destroy you…”

Hopefully… there is someone who strongly believes it some kind of crap you say when you’re upset! Your Mom, besides being some kind of an intrusive person on my point of view, is also, on these subjects, a very wise listener.

Go to Hell with your silly sentences. Get away. And id you believe what you said yesterday, you probably are some kind of a very very bad person. I can not and I will not stand these kind of outcomes as often as you think. I am not the gentle and kind Bob any more. I am just a wild animal, hurt, one knee down, just waiting for a recovery…

We talked

being2hurts — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 12:30:20 +0000

Last night, I had a personal crash then I opened my mind and feelings to her. She was so “Tracy*”. It means she was that person I know: rational, logical (no, she doesn’t have points on the top of her ears)… The one which has always to reach a logical answer to any kind of problems.

We talked…. I talked… She listened, she answered. We finally decided it could be a great idea that we go for counseling. Although it is clear that we’ll not attend it for the same reason, I also managed to tell her we should proceed through two steps:

- FIRST: Trying to understand WHY the situation came to such an end

- SECOND: Setting up the best way out of that situation. Divorce or not. We’ll see.

*Tracy is not her name, of course… PRIVACY matters

Ouch… It hurts…

being2hurts — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:52:46 +0000

Monday – 9.00pm. Charenton.

My place. (our place)

She came back home and was looking pretty odd. Her face looked sad. The tone of her voice sounded strange. And so she began telling me…

- “Bob*”, It is over, our marriage is over… I do not love you anymore…

As she is a kind of rational person, she had already set everything up in her head.

Well, I’m not that kind of person I do not accept things concerning me without saying my word. And I am a believer. I believe in us, our 2 person project, our family. I will fight. I will fight to keep that family in one piece. And if I failed, I would have at least tried! For me, but most important, for our kids.

As I need to talk and do not want people to get bored with me, I’ll write it on these pages.

(*my name is not Bob…)